POWER OF MUSIC

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been obsessed with music and musicians.Not as in singing, but in hearing.

I remember the cold mornings when I had to wake up to go to school, temples and mosques nearby would be playing holy, soulful music. At the bus stop a small speaker would be playing the most random songs, sometimes just melodies mixed together. In the bus the driver would have the music on blast, whether to cheer himself or the kids I’ll never know!

Since those days I’ve loved music (and my love grew since my brother loved to sing and had a great voice).

Anytime a great song is played everyone around you jams to it, you can see that look in their face, people are carefree, ignorant to their problems and troubles around them, music lets them be happy. But the moment the music changes to something less popular or something that doesn’t fit the vibe of the occasion, you can see the change that people have.
Most people show it visually and audibly, the room will most probably be filled with “oh!” and “come on!”. You can see the change in their facial expressions, they’re visibly disappointed, because thier connection to the music is broken.

I believe that everyone has a connection to music, ofcourse not everyone connects to music in the same way and not everyone connects to all music.It changes from time to time and place to place.
But everyone connects, there is a part in all of us that connects with music, whatever music it may be.

Sure, some of us connect more to music and some less. To some, just hearing the first few notes of the song can get them singing and dancing and to some it remains limited to just listening to the song and enjoying it.

After long nights of music and deep thoughts, I’ve realised this : music has a way of uniting and dividing.

“Music is the greatest communication in the world. Even if people don’t understand the language that you’re singing in, they still know good music when they hear it. “

Lou Rawls

When the music is good, something which most people vibe to, it becomes the uniting factor and the same way when it’s something that most of the people don’t like, it makes everyone disappointed, together.
But when the music changes to something one group likes and the other group dislikes, it becomes the dividing factor.
Even amongst friends, “what music should we play at …” is a really big discussion and might even lead to disagreements.

But let’s look at the positive side of things.
For me, music is a stress buster, my way to relax and unwind after a really tough day. Music holds the power to take my thoughts away from the difficulties of each day, from the tired reckless thoughts, to a world of fantasy and imagination, a world where I can live and laugh and explore the side of me that I hide from the rest of the world. I’m sure it’s the same for many people reading this.

For many people, it’s difficult to work with music, some say that it’s a distraction, but for me, whenever I’m unleashing my creative side, like right now, when I’m writing this, I love to have the music blasting through the earphones, cancelling out the noisy, chaotic world outside, leaving me with the humming of the music and peace inside.

As I’m growing older, my connection to different music is changing and evolving and I love to see that growth in myself, almost like looking at myself from the outside. I guess music gives you a better look at yourself, a little more soulful and a little more deep.

Another really important thing that I’ve noticed is that people who connect to the similar type of music tend to connect with each other well. Obviously it doesn’t mean that everyone that shares the same taste in music is going to connect well with you, but, music does make a common ground for you to connect with people which can be great for making new friends and meeting new people.

One of my most favourite things about music is the satisfaction that I get after jamming to some good music.
Music holds the power to elevate my mood and make me feel energetic and confident, as I’m sure it does to a lot of people .

So here’s a little tip for anyone that’s feeling low, listen to music. Any music. Specifically, any music that can get you jumping and make you happy, something that can really get the feel good chemicals pumping through you. Works every time!

Tell me below, what type of music do you connect to, also, suggest some to us!

“Music is the literature of the heart, it commences where speech ends.”

Alphonse de Lamartine

POWER OF TOGETHERNESS AND HUMANITY

Preface
This was written in the midst of COVID-19 pandemic and a few days ago I came across this and decided to change it up a little based on the current situation going around.

During the time of this pandemic, all our lives have changed drastically.
We witnessed people being really sick, some coming through stronger and healthier and some who no longer hold our hands.
We saw the arrival of zoom meetings, Google meet and other ways of working, studying and connecting with people.

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.

Helen Keller

Since then we’ve all gotten used to this new way of life, in some ways, it has become the new ‘normal’.

Throughout this whole experience, right from the discovery of this virus, to seeing it rapidly spread globally, to then getting the vaccine (speaking of which, if you haven’t, get the vaccine!!!) and now to this point where things are getting more or less back to normal, we’ve consistently seen the power of togetherness and humanity.

We saw people coming together (while staying apart), keeping their masks on, staying home and most importantly, constantly supporting and cheering on the people working hard for us.

We’ve seen humanity evolve into this version of us that we haven’t seen in a long time.
We have seen kindness and compassion and love in each other’s hearts, and we saw some of them showing it through their actions.

I remember December 2019, sitting at home and thinking, “Gosh! 2019 was horrible. But 2020 is going to be my year!” (As most of us thought). But then 2020 came in with a bang, just not the kind we expected.

When the thought of staying at home with my family finally settled in, I was horrified, could you imagine, being home, stuck with them 24/7. Gosh!

But we all got used to that after a point and things started getting into a routine. We all learnt to deal with the people around us and the differences we have with them. We learnt to forgive our past and started looking for a brighter future (which most of us are still doing!)

Most of us have reached out to the people that we haven’t spoken to in a long while. That friend that turned their back on us in middle school, that aunt who was really mean to us and even little Billy from kindergarten (hi Billy!) and if you haven’t, then you should! Let go of the bad memories from the past and embrace this time.

I think that is what humanity and togetherness is about, it’s about letting go of the harsh past and working for a beautiful and better future, for ourselves and for others.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean, if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Mahatma Gandhi

I won’t deny the fact that there are some people who tend to go in the direction opposite to humanity and cause trouble for others (hi Karen!) but at the same time, there are people that move and guide people to the direction of greatness.

This is another great trait of humanity and togetherness. Together we’re able to push past the point of negativity and let positivity take the spotlight.
We’re able to create and spread a sense of togetherness by spreading kindness and love to everyone around us.

We’ve seen time and time again, the power of togetherness and the message we’re able to spread together. Right from the #MeToo to the #BlackLivesMatter and then #AllLivesMatter and countless others that have taken the spotlight.

We constantly see people supporting each other and spreading the message of togetherness and love.

I won’t disregard all the bad things that have happened in the past, but through kindness, love and compassion, we’ve been able to get through those bad times and we’ve come back stronger and better than ever.

To anyone out there who is going through tough times, I want to let you know, things will become better.
Nothing bad lasts forever, just as nothing good lasts forever, which means we need to learn from these times and accept the change.

I want you to share the thoughts you have during these hard times and even in the good times. Share them with a friend, a family member, a loved one, a colleague or even me! (You can comment them below if you like, or you can mail me at talkwithanuwp@gmail.com I would love to hear from you!)

At the end, I want everyone reading this to know, we’re all going through the highs and lows of life, but we can come out of it wiser, stronger and better, using the power of togetherness and humanity.

LEARNING TO SILENCE THE INNER CRITIC

(W/ many other smart people)

Have you ever heard loud, harsh, cruel, negative and really hurtful criticizing words?

I feel like we’ve all heard those at some point of our life, either from outside or from inside. Now, we may not be able to do much about the negativity that comes from outside but we can change the negativity from inside.

So I did a lot of research, which consisted of reading, writing and watching a lot of Ted talks and I’ve found the top 3 ways to of silencing the inner critic and being a better you.

1) THE ONE RULE PRINCIPLE ( by Bhavna Nagar )

This principle simply states, ‘ If I don’t like it from the outside (words or tone of voice), then I can’t use it on the inside.’

This principle, according to me, is the most simplest and maybe the most sensible way of dealing with that nagging voice from the inside.

Bhavna compares this inner critic to a 2 year old, someone who just says whatever they want, and the only way to control this 2 year old voice, is by being a parent to it. Being stern, yet loving. Slowly with a lot of practice, learning and caring we’ll be able to parent this inner 2 year old.

2) C. A. S. T. ( by Melissa Ambrosini )

“.. to help cast aside our inner critic so our true self can shine.”

The way to do this is by following these 4 simple steps.

Step 1: Create a character for this inner critic.

Give it a face, a shape, a body and a name. It can be anything you like. This is really important. It will create a boundary between the inner critic and your true self. It’s important to know that those are 2 completely different things.

Step 2: Awareness

Be aware and know which of these 2, your true self or the inner critic, is doing the talking. Again, remember that they are 2 completely different things.

Step 3: Shut the door.

… on this inner critic. Every time these criticizing thoughts come knocking on your mental door, you tell them, “No thanks, bye!” and close that door on their face. Shut off the negative thoughts just like you would shut off a nosey neighbor when you’re on a bad mood. (Trust me, you don’t have any need for either of them!)

Step 4: Truth

When you do all the above steps, you will finally find out the truth, the truth of who you really are and what you are really worth.

3) 3 WAYS TO TAME YOUR SELF CRITIC ( by Ronnie Grandell )

1) Try to understand the critic’s intent.

The critic inside you is like an angry sports coach. They want you to succeed and be the best version, but they have really poor execution style.

So, the best way to do learn the really intention of this critic is by looking behind the angry, rude, mean, hurtful things that your inner critic says, find the real reason for these words.

Is this inner voice trying to push you into being a better version of yourself? Or is it trying to keep you away from a hurtful situation? Or is it saying all of this just to hurt you? Try to figure it out!

2) Take a step back and personalize the critic.

Just like before, give this inner critic a personality. Give it a name, a face, a way of walking, an accent, anything and everything you want. (Your imagination is the only limit.)

Create distance between this personality and your true self because they are completely different.

Now everytime this unhappy, mean, rude personality decides to pay a visit to your mind, push it away. Again, nosey neighbor. No thanks! (You don’t need that in your life, take it from me)

3) Create a compassionate personality.

Create a nicer version of the angry sports coach in your head. Again, give them personality, face, body, voice, everything.l

Let them be this compassionate, kind, nice, loving and supportive person that will step in to life you up and help you access your inner courage, your inner self and your inner commitment to the things that matter to you.

Now, doing all this research and learning has taught me so many things that I want to summarize with these 5 points:

1) Before taking validation from outside, we need to stop hurting ourselves from the inside. We need to be kind to ourselves before expecting someone else to be kind to us or being kind to someone else.

2) We need to think of this inner critic only as a part of us, not all of us. We need to distance ourselves from this part of us.

3) We need to learn to turn this inner critic into a life coach that will give us that little extra push to reach our goals.

4) We should accept our failures and make amends and try to make things right. But at the same time, we need to question this inner critic from time to time, we need to step back and understand what this inner critic is doing to our mind.

5) Listening to the inner critic will not always make us a better version of us. Sometimes (aka most of the time) it will just make us feel even more down which will just affect our productivity.

[ BTW…. If you want to know some tips to being productive, here it is …. #ShamelessPlug 😉 ]

Fun Fact (because why not)

According to many scientists and researchers, the inner critic is an essential characteristic for many psychological disorders including anxiety, depression and eating disorders. So it’s really really important for us to tackle this inner critic and turn it towards our own benefit.

Bonus Tip

All these tips, tricks and hacks are not instantaneous. You cannot just wish for it and then wait for it to come true, you need to work towards it. Each day take baby steps to silence that inner critic. It won’t be an easy ride, there will be times that you will fail, you will fall down and you will hurt yourself, but you have to get back up. And whenever you have thoughts like “why even try?” or “what’s the point of all this?”, read this article again, and know that the reason why you’re doing this, is not for anyone else, it’s for you. Why? Because you deserve happiness, and nothing should come in the way of that, not even your inner critic. ♥️

PUSHING PAST THE NEGATIVE

Our brain has a tendency to view the world from a negative light. Once we start thinking about something as a negative, it tends to stick to us and makes it difficult to change our opinion about it. When we start viewing the world from a ‘glass half empty’ perspective, everything seems negative, sad and depressing. On the other hand, viewing the world as ‘glass half full’ shows a better, more happier perspective.

What that means is, having a better, positive mindset can change the way you view the world. Remember that your world is what you make it. Know that you can change your world. However, if you want to change it, you need to believe it.

Believe that you are in control of what goes on in your mind. You control how much space of your mind gets occupied by the negatives and how much space of your mind gets occupied by the positives. When you allow negative feelings and thoughts to consume your mind, you give them space, space that should be filled by the positive thoughts, feelings and emotions.

When we hold on to the negatives in our life, all the hurtful, sad, bad and cruel things in our life, we poison ourselves. It is a poison that slowly kills our creativity, passion and ultimately even love.

When you keep in negative thoughts and emotions you are wasting valuable emotional energy that you need to overcome the hurdels and reach your goals and dreams. You cannot become what you dream of becoming if you just sit around and waste your energy on thoughts that don’t matter and don’t bring any goodness to your life.

If you empty out the negative in your mind and heart you will create room for positive, you will make your mind stronger and make a better life for yourself. You will keep yourself happy and healthy.

We all have negative thoughts, emotions and feelings. But we also have the ability to make a choice, we can choose which emotions – positive or negative – do we want to fill our minds with.


In the words of Joel Osteen
‘ The scripture says “Give no place to the enemy”. It’s not just talking about forces of darkness. That means give no place to guilt, give no place to worry, give no place to bitterness. It can’t come in and automatically take over.’

You see, worry, stress, jealousy, resentment, anger, envy, regret, etc. These are all feelings that we all have. These are a part of life and everyone goes through one or more of these emotions atleast once in their lifetime. The key is not to hold onto these emotions. The best way to overcome negative emotions is not to stick to it neither is it about completely ignoring the feelings. To overcome negative emotions you need to go through the emotions. Let yourself feel bad and then move on, for yourself.

Recognize the emotions that are not beneficial, the emotions that are a burden and don’t let you move forward. Recognize these emotions and move through them. Move on and free yourself from the burden of the negative.

We have heard since a very long time that talking about the bad things in our life will make us feel better. We’ve constantly been told that venting about things would help us take the weight off our shoulders. So, we talk about the negatives, we vent and complain about all the things that are going wrong. What we don’t realise is that that just makes us stick to those negative thoughts for even longer.
Yet, for some reason, we never talk about the good things in our life, all the things that make us happy, all the privileges and blessings that we have in our life. Infact, research conducted at UC Davis has shown that doing things as small as writing for a few minutes a day about the things that you are grateful for can boost your happiness and emotional well being. So, it is important to know the positives in your life and regularly remind yourself about all these things.

Now, in case you are wondering how can we push past the negatives and be mentally strong?
I may have a few suggestions for you.

To be mentally strong you need to practice good mental health habits practicing gratitude and meditation.
But at the same time, you need to give up the bad mental health habits like holding a grudge or resenting someone else’s success.
You need to understand that these bed mental habits will hold you back from reaching your full potential and it will harm your mental peace.

To read more about mental peace band mental strength, check out my blog here:

https://anublogsofficial.art.blog/2021/06/07/how-to-be-mentally-strong-and-protect-your-peace/



But before that
Tell me, what changes are you going to bring to your life to make it better for you?

ASK FOR HELP

Have you ever been in a situation where you were hesitant to ask help for your mental health? Are you in such a position right now? 

Whatever position/situation you are in right now, I want to encourage you to ask for help.

I feel like there was and still is a big stigma around asking for help especially when it comes to mental health.

Asking for help and talking about mental health issues is okay, we need to start ignoring the stigma and not our mental health. 

It can be hard to ask for help but it is important because we all need a little help from time to time, acknowledge that.

Many times, the reason why we’re not willing to ask for help is because of our pride. We feel like whatever is happening is completely in our control and we don’t need anybody’s help, but the reality of the situation is that we all need a break and take some weight off our shoulders. 

Even though mental health conditions are not as noticeable, they are just as real as physical health issues and it’s just as important to find the proper treatment for these.

If there is something that is having a negative impact on your work and/or personal life, you need to raise a hand and ask for help. 

Asking for help is a big part of being a good team worker, when you know your limits and ask for help once you reach these limits shows the more human side of you and allows your teammates to know you better. 

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone and/or asking for help, then don’t force yourself, it will just lead you to becoming more closed up and make it difficult for you to talk and for the other person to understand. 

Instead, find a way that allows you to release some of that stress and anxiety related to asking for help.

Did you know, according to World Health Organization, stress is a global epidemic, but, there is a temporary solution to stress, I say temporary because it will not completely help you with stress or any other issue that you have, but it may provide you with enough relief that you will be able to talk to someone without stressing out too much. 

Its physical activity – you may or may not know this – exercise and other physical activities produce endorphins and also improve the ability to sleep which in turn reduces stress. 

So, try out a couple of fun physical activities, it may just help you out.

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If you’re confused about whether or not you (or anyone you know) are actually suffering from any mental health issues, keep an eye out for some of these signs:

  • Neglect of personal hygiene
  • Dramatic changes in sleep habits
  • Significant weight gain or loss
  • Decline in work performance
  • Pronounced changes in mood
  • Withdrawal from routine activities and/or relationships 
  • Expressing a lack of purpose

Remember that these are only some signs, a person may or may not have any or all of these signs, and my best suggestion would be that you consult a doctor or specialist.

HOW TO BE MENTALLY STRONG AND PROTECT YOUR PEACE

Have you ever been in a situation where your mental peace has been disturbed? Have you ever had questions like – how can I protect my mental health? How can I be peaceful?

I’ve read and heard different people’s ideas and opinions and finally I’ve come up with these following ways which, if you practice, then you too can attain some amount of mental peace. It may not be the solution to all your problems but, it might help you deal with everyday issues ad stresses.

  • GROW AND LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES

A very important thing which you need to understand is, whatever has happened, cannot be changed. So, instead of overthinking and overanalyzing things that went wrong in the past, figure out what went wrong and how can you prevent the mistakes from happening again.

  • LOVE YOURSELF

This is connected to the first point. Learn to love yourself. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Another thing you should always keep in mind is: being kind to yourself, loving yourself and taking time to take care of yourself is not being selfish, it’s called self-care which everyone needs to practice.

“It’s absolutely okay to take time for self-care. You can’t do things well if you don’t feel well.”

  • CREATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Creating healthy boundaries for the people in your life is extremely important for your mental peace. Being there for people is good, but make sure you don’t burn yourself out in the process. By creating healthy boundaries you are taking care of your mental health. Remember, you can’t do good to others if you don’t feel good yourself.

  • TAKE CONTROL

A very important thing to always keep in mind is: you are always responsible for your happiness.

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” – Abraham Lincoln

Do not give anyone or anything else the control over your mental peace. Take back the control, keep yourself peaceful and happy.

  • BE GRATEFUL

This phrase should explain it by itself. Be grateful for everything good in your life.

To know more about being grateful, check out my blog:

GRATITUDE – BEING THANKFUL

That’s it for today. Tell me, what are the things that you do to protect your mental peace?

WHY SHOULD YOU FORGIVE?

This blog is for those who feel like they’ve been hurt/wronged /deceived/betrayed by someone. Do you feel extreme hatred and/or anger towards someone who has wronged you in any way?

Then I’m here to tell you that you need to forgive that person. Why? Allow me to explain.

If you want to grow, you need to leave some things behind.

“You need to forgive and forget in order to grow, to become bigger and better.”

Forgiving someone, especially if they’ve wronged you and hurt you, is not easy. You need to work on it. You need to do it, not for them, but for yourself.

Forgiveness is not just for the person that you forgive, you also deserve to forgive that person.

Forgiveness is the only way that you can finally cut off that person completely from your life.

Holding a grudge and not forgiving someone for the wrong that they have done is like letting that person consume your mind. You’re giving them the power to control your mind, to keep you away from your real goal. You’re allowing them to hold you back! Take back the control, don’t keep the hate in you. You deserve to be happy, you deserve a life of positivity, do not let hatred consume your mind just because someone wronged you. There is so much good in you, do not let that fade away just because someone else is a horrible person.

 It is never easy to forgive and forget. But if you can forgive someone, someone who has caused you a lot of pain, someone who hurt you so much that everything around you seemed dark, if you can forgive a person like that, if you can move on from that, make a better life for yourself and be happy, then Nothing and No one can break you.

Forgive them for yourself. Because

YOU DESERVE BETTER