Tag Archives: happiness

THE IDEA OF PERFECTION

What, according to you, is perfect?
Is it that character you saw in a movie or that lead in your favourite book? Is it that one person in your class/at work whom everyone looks up to.

The idea of perfection varies from person to person and time to time. It’s a lot like coffee.


Different people have different preferences when it comes to coffee and some don’t like coffee, it just goes with what you’re in the mood for.
Perfection is just like that, everyone’s idea of ‘perfect’ is different, and it changes from place to place and time to time.


When you’re in school it might be that person who has the most friends and hangs out with the popular crowd, when you grow older it might become the people that have a well paying job and are respected in the community.



The thing to note is that ‘perfect’ is not the same for everyone, all of us feel that perfect is different, better and something unlike us.
Everyone has, atleast once in their life, compared themselves to their idea of ‘perfect’.



But the question that arises is, “Why are some things considered to be perfect, while others are not?”

The idea of perfection is very different for different people but the reality of the situation is – nothing and no one is perfect!



We all have this idea of perfect in our head that we have put up on a pedestal and look up to and aspire to be and many times force ourselves to be.
We do the most absurd things to fit the idea of ‘perfect’. We put ourselves on diets and trainings and all sorts of things that we might not even want to do but we do it, just to fit this idea of perfect, which we’ve made up in our head!



Hear me out, there is nothing wrong with following a healthy lifestyle and doing things that keep you healthy and fit, but putting yourself through things that you don’t even want to do or are unhealthy for you, just to fit this image of ‘perfect body’ is wrong.
The same way, there’s nothing wrong with having a good job that pays well and gives you a high position in society, but doing that while pushing away your passion and happiness, just to match your parents idea of ‘the perfect child’ or society’s idea of ‘the perfect match’ is wrong.

There are so many other instances when we push away our own happiness and peace of mind just to fit the idea of perfect, something that will never be able to bring us true happiness.



Have you ever admired someone? Thought them to be the living version of perfect? Idolised them to such a level that you dreamt and aspired to be them?
Well, I have, and I had to learn it the hard way thay nothing and no one is perfect. Everyone has their good and bad side, everyone has their own shortcomings and everyone has days that are good and that are bad.
Putting someone on that pedestal and expecting them to fit your idea of perfect is not right. Accepting someone for who they are, good and bad, is the way to show true admiration and letting someone know that you actually care about them.



There’s nothing wrong with helping someone become better and improve but it’s always important to know our limits and not push ourselves and at the same time remind others to be careful and not push themselves too hard.


I don’t know about you, but I grew up watching people that had the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect laugh, everything that fit society’s idea of ‘perfect’ and that shaped my idea of perfect, which made me push myself in that direction, in a direction that seemed so wonderful, but was so dark and did not give me any happiness.

In the end, I don’t fit the idea of perfect! I don’t have the perfect smile, the perfect grades or the perfect behaviour. I’m not that and the first time I accepted that, it scared me, I was not what everyone wanted me to be and I might never become that, but now I’ve learnt to accept myself as that, as that imperfect, silly little girl, that might never make anyone proud, but atleast I’m happy.

I’m happy and I’m comfortable in my own skin… actually that’s not true, I’m not completely comfortable, I have days when I’m so bold and comfortable and feel so grand , and then I have days when I’m insecure, self conscious and scared and that is completely okay!
It’s a long hard journey and I’m going to make it, one day at a time. Baby steps.


And I want to encourage everyone reading this, take a moment and analyse yourself, what about you do you think is imperfect or doesn’t fit your version of ‘perfect’? What do you think is perfect? More importantly, why do you think it’s perfect? Why not put yourself into the idea of imperfect and love that?
There is so much beauty in imperfections – in all our imperfections, it’s high time that we stop praising the idea of perfect and learn to love ourselves a little more each day and grow each day.



Let’s learn to surround ourselves with people and things that help us develop self love, that help us love us for who we are and help us become better and happier.

There could be a hundred things that could make us upset, make us feel bad, about ourselves and the world around us, so it’s important to find love in ourselves, only then can we find love for the world outside.
And one of the best ways to love ourselves is to rid ourselves from the idea of perfect, to fall in love with our own imperfections.



It’s great if you can make yourself a better version of you and it’s great to try to be a better version of yourself every day, but it’s important to love yourself, regardless of who you could be, it’s about loving yourself as who you are, because there is so much to love about yourself…

To love yourself is the path to loving the world & to love the world is to spread love, peace and happiness

POWER OF MUSIC

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been obsessed with music and musicians.Not as in singing, but in hearing.

I remember the cold mornings when I had to wake up to go to school, temples and mosques nearby would be playing holy, soulful music. At the bus stop a small speaker would be playing the most random songs, sometimes just melodies mixed together. In the bus the driver would have the music on blast, whether to cheer himself or the kids I’ll never know!

Since those days I’ve loved music (and my love grew since my brother loved to sing and had a great voice).

Anytime a great song is played everyone around you jams to it, you can see that look in their face, people are carefree, ignorant to their problems and troubles around them, music lets them be happy. But the moment the music changes to something less popular or something that doesn’t fit the vibe of the occasion, you can see the change that people have.
Most people show it visually and audibly, the room will most probably be filled with “oh!” and “come on!”. You can see the change in their facial expressions, they’re visibly disappointed, because thier connection to the music is broken.

I believe that everyone has a connection to music, ofcourse not everyone connects to music in the same way and not everyone connects to all music.It changes from time to time and place to place.
But everyone connects, there is a part in all of us that connects with music, whatever music it may be.

Sure, some of us connect more to music and some less. To some, just hearing the first few notes of the song can get them singing and dancing and to some it remains limited to just listening to the song and enjoying it.

After long nights of music and deep thoughts, I’ve realised this : music has a way of uniting and dividing.

“Music is the greatest communication in the world. Even if people don’t understand the language that you’re singing in, they still know good music when they hear it. “

Lou Rawls

When the music is good, something which most people vibe to, it becomes the uniting factor and the same way when it’s something that most of the people don’t like, it makes everyone disappointed, together.
But when the music changes to something one group likes and the other group dislikes, it becomes the dividing factor.
Even amongst friends, “what music should we play at …” is a really big discussion and might even lead to disagreements.

But let’s look at the positive side of things.
For me, music is a stress buster, my way to relax and unwind after a really tough day. Music holds the power to take my thoughts away from the difficulties of each day, from the tired reckless thoughts, to a world of fantasy and imagination, a world where I can live and laugh and explore the side of me that I hide from the rest of the world. I’m sure it’s the same for many people reading this.

For many people, it’s difficult to work with music, some say that it’s a distraction, but for me, whenever I’m unleashing my creative side, like right now, when I’m writing this, I love to have the music blasting through the earphones, cancelling out the noisy, chaotic world outside, leaving me with the humming of the music and peace inside.

As I’m growing older, my connection to different music is changing and evolving and I love to see that growth in myself, almost like looking at myself from the outside. I guess music gives you a better look at yourself, a little more soulful and a little more deep.

Another really important thing that I’ve noticed is that people who connect to the similar type of music tend to connect with each other well. Obviously it doesn’t mean that everyone that shares the same taste in music is going to connect well with you, but, music does make a common ground for you to connect with people which can be great for making new friends and meeting new people.

One of my most favourite things about music is the satisfaction that I get after jamming to some good music.
Music holds the power to elevate my mood and make me feel energetic and confident, as I’m sure it does to a lot of people .

So here’s a little tip for anyone that’s feeling low, listen to music. Any music. Specifically, any music that can get you jumping and make you happy, something that can really get the feel good chemicals pumping through you. Works every time!

Tell me below, what type of music do you connect to, also, suggest some to us!

“Music is the literature of the heart, it commences where speech ends.”

Alphonse de Lamartine

POWER OF TOGETHERNESS AND HUMANITY

Preface
This was written in the midst of COVID-19 pandemic and a few days ago I came across this and decided to change it up a little based on the current situation going around.

During the time of this pandemic, all our lives have changed drastically.
We witnessed people being really sick, some coming through stronger and healthier and some who no longer hold our hands.
We saw the arrival of zoom meetings, Google meet and other ways of working, studying and connecting with people.

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much.

Helen Keller

Since then we’ve all gotten used to this new way of life, in some ways, it has become the new ‘normal’.

Throughout this whole experience, right from the discovery of this virus, to seeing it rapidly spread globally, to then getting the vaccine (speaking of which, if you haven’t, get the vaccine!!!) and now to this point where things are getting more or less back to normal, we’ve consistently seen the power of togetherness and humanity.

We saw people coming together (while staying apart), keeping their masks on, staying home and most importantly, constantly supporting and cheering on the people working hard for us.

We’ve seen humanity evolve into this version of us that we haven’t seen in a long time.
We have seen kindness and compassion and love in each other’s hearts, and we saw some of them showing it through their actions.

I remember December 2019, sitting at home and thinking, “Gosh! 2019 was horrible. But 2020 is going to be my year!” (As most of us thought). But then 2020 came in with a bang, just not the kind we expected.

When the thought of staying at home with my family finally settled in, I was horrified, could you imagine, being home, stuck with them 24/7. Gosh!

But we all got used to that after a point and things started getting into a routine. We all learnt to deal with the people around us and the differences we have with them. We learnt to forgive our past and started looking for a brighter future (which most of us are still doing!)

Most of us have reached out to the people that we haven’t spoken to in a long while. That friend that turned their back on us in middle school, that aunt who was really mean to us and even little Billy from kindergarten (hi Billy!) and if you haven’t, then you should! Let go of the bad memories from the past and embrace this time.

I think that is what humanity and togetherness is about, it’s about letting go of the harsh past and working for a beautiful and better future, for ourselves and for others.

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean, if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

Mahatma Gandhi

I won’t deny the fact that there are some people who tend to go in the direction opposite to humanity and cause trouble for others (hi Karen!) but at the same time, there are people that move and guide people to the direction of greatness.

This is another great trait of humanity and togetherness. Together we’re able to push past the point of negativity and let positivity take the spotlight.
We’re able to create and spread a sense of togetherness by spreading kindness and love to everyone around us.

We’ve seen time and time again, the power of togetherness and the message we’re able to spread together. Right from the #MeToo to the #BlackLivesMatter and then #AllLivesMatter and countless others that have taken the spotlight.

We constantly see people supporting each other and spreading the message of togetherness and love.

I won’t disregard all the bad things that have happened in the past, but through kindness, love and compassion, we’ve been able to get through those bad times and we’ve come back stronger and better than ever.

To anyone out there who is going through tough times, I want to let you know, things will become better.
Nothing bad lasts forever, just as nothing good lasts forever, which means we need to learn from these times and accept the change.

I want you to share the thoughts you have during these hard times and even in the good times. Share them with a friend, a family member, a loved one, a colleague or even me! (You can comment them below if you like, or you can mail me at talkwithanuwp@gmail.com I would love to hear from you!)

At the end, I want everyone reading this to know, we’re all going through the highs and lows of life, but we can come out of it wiser, stronger and better, using the power of togetherness and humanity.

WHY BLOGGING?

A few days ago as I was scrolling through some of my feed I realised that I have never told people why I started this blog and why I’m so passionate about writing and working hard on making this my full time profession. So, I’ll tell you now.


I have always been a bookworm and share my love for reading with my mom. Since a very young age I loved reading and writing fantasy stories (which is why I now want to write stories for children). Growing up I read stories from authors like Enid Blyton, Ruskin Bond and Roald Dahl. A few years later, I stumbled upon the world of eBooks and have since been obsessed with crime novels and murder mysteries.


After that I got more interested in writing philosophy (many people may think that a little girl of 14 may not have much philosophical knowledge… But trust me… Youngsters are way more knowledgeable than people give them credit for… And that is the point that I want to prove with my blogs)
I got the idea of online writing and stepped into the world, unfortunately for me, my expectations were very high… A little too much, I admit. So with a heavy heart I quit writing philosophy.


But now, I’m back, with much more knowledge, lesser (but realistic) expectations, a thirst for knowledge and a huge craving for writing things and bringing people happiness.

When I started writing again, I heard many people say things like, “this one won’t last either” or “you’ll be over it soon” and also things like “you may think that you can do it, but the reality is that you can’t” and this time I’m writing to prove them wrong, to stand up for myself and millions of young people out there who don’t get the credit that they deserve.


So, this was the small (yet big) reason why I decided to write (again) and I am very much excited to write and learn and create so much more. And honestly, huge thanks to all the people that are supporting and reading my blogs and liking as well, it really means a lot to me. Lots of love to everyone reading this… Remember… I appreciate you❤️

MANIFESTING YOUR DREAMS

The first question that you may have is, what is manifesting? According to The Millennial Grind by Kenneth Wong, ‘Manifesting is to assume the feelings of what you desire and using this aligned energy to bring it into your reality.’ In simple words, it’s making a wish and then working towards it, with a little extra help from a very special connection.

Have you ever wished for something very hard and very long and suddenly, it came true? If you did, then I think it’s safe to say that you’ve already made a connection with the universe/god/ultimate power/whatever-it-is-that-you-would-like-to-call-it! If you’ve not, then let me give you my top 10 tips and tricks on manifesting and making your dreams come true.

  • Visualize it

The first step to making your dreams and goals come true is envisioning it, act as if it’s already real and happening, make the foundation to that connection. Speak your vision out, hear yourself speak it, not only will that help you connect to the vision, it will also motivate you to work for that vision.

“Decide what you want to be, do, and have, think the thoughts of it, emit the frequency, and your vision will become your life.” – Rhonda Byrne

  • Write it down

…or draw it or you could put up pictures and make a vision board, the important thing is that you need to have a physical form of the vision. That way, when you start working towards the goal you will have a clear idea of what you’re aiming for.

  • Hustle

The most important and the most difficult step of making your dreams come true. You need to work for it. Remember, the universe/god/ultimate power/whatever-it-is-that-you-would-like-to-call-it will only work for you when you work for yourself.

Adopt the horse vision, just like a horse can only see its path and destination because of its blinkers, create mental blinkers for yourself, set your destination and fix your path, then don’t stop till you reach it.

  • Be practical

As you slowly start working towards the goal, you’ll slowly start getting mini-successes. During this period of mini-success and real success, don’t get overconfident, don’t let your ego get in your head, keep a clear head and be practical.

For example; someone may have a dream job and after working really really hard they may get an interview, the smart thing here would be to not get cocky and overconfident, the interviewer may not find it appealing and the person may not get the job, instead keeping a clear head and making practical decisions will help this person get the job.

  • Choose people wisely

Your company really makes an impact on your mindset which in turns impacts your connection. Be close to friends and family who support and motivate you but at the same time are not hesitant to point out your mistakes, and most importantly, help you evolve.

  • Failures

“The worst and the best part of your life are the failures. They are the best teachers, success is a very lousy teacher” – Auyshmann Khurrana

Accept your failures and learn from your mistakes. Until and unless you see failure, you will not be able to reach success. Seeing failure in the beginning of the journey will prepare you for the worst and help you evolve yourself and be better.

  • Motivate yourself

There will be times when things will go south for you, and in those times you need to motivate yourself. Empower your inner self. When you lose faith in yourself you lose the connection, don’t lose that connection, keep it intact. At the end of the day, nothing and nobody can have a bigger impact on you than yourself.

  • Ignore negative opinions and thoughts

The biggest critic is the one that is in your head, so be careful about the thoughts that you allow in your mind. Remember that your thoughts go on to create your life, so keep it positive.

“Every thought you have is a message you send to the Universe. The Universe is always saying YES to your thoughts, energy, and emotions. Therefore, what you put out you will receive back—whether you want it or not.” – Gabrielle Bernstein

Coming to the criticism from the outside, don’t pay attention to everyone that criticizes and gives their opinion and advice. Be careful about whom you take advice from, if it’s someone who you look up to or someone who has more experience than you in the field or someone who’s been there and done that, take all the notes! But if it’s someone who has no idea what your journey is like and what you’re going through, then just learn to ignore them.

  • Be prepared and evolve

Keep your sense open at all times, opportunities have a way of coming at the most inconvenient times! Also, keep evolving yourself and your skills, learn something new everyday, the most unexpected thing might help you bump into your opportunity.

  • Be patient

Be patient with your dreams, with yourself and with the universe/god/ultimate power/whatever-it-is-that-you-would-like-to-call-it. Once you manifest your dreams and start working towards it, you need to be patient with it. You can’t rush the connection, patience will bring you the best. Give it time, a month, a year, two, three, four years, it doesn’t matter how long it takes, it will happen at the very best time.

Now, if you’re someone who doesn’t believe in all this and thinks it’s a waste of time, good for you, I wish your methods and beliefs get you to your success. But if you’re someone who is open to manifesting and connecting then I highly suggest you do it, it may take some time, but in the end you will succeed. Trust me, you will 😉

“If you can fail at something you don’t love, you might as well do what you love.” – Jim Carrey

ASK FOR HELP

Have you ever been in a situation where you were hesitant to ask help for your mental health? Are you in such a position right now? 

Whatever position/situation you are in right now, I want to encourage you to ask for help.

I feel like there was and still is a big stigma around asking for help especially when it comes to mental health.

Asking for help and talking about mental health issues is okay, we need to start ignoring the stigma and not our mental health. 

It can be hard to ask for help but it is important because we all need a little help from time to time, acknowledge that.

Many times, the reason why we’re not willing to ask for help is because of our pride. We feel like whatever is happening is completely in our control and we don’t need anybody’s help, but the reality of the situation is that we all need a break and take some weight off our shoulders. 

Even though mental health conditions are not as noticeable, they are just as real as physical health issues and it’s just as important to find the proper treatment for these.

If there is something that is having a negative impact on your work and/or personal life, you need to raise a hand and ask for help. 

Asking for help is a big part of being a good team worker, when you know your limits and ask for help once you reach these limits shows the more human side of you and allows your teammates to know you better. 

If you don’t feel comfortable talking to someone and/or asking for help, then don’t force yourself, it will just lead you to becoming more closed up and make it difficult for you to talk and for the other person to understand. 

Instead, find a way that allows you to release some of that stress and anxiety related to asking for help.

Did you know, according to World Health Organization, stress is a global epidemic, but, there is a temporary solution to stress, I say temporary because it will not completely help you with stress or any other issue that you have, but it may provide you with enough relief that you will be able to talk to someone without stressing out too much. 

Its physical activity – you may or may not know this – exercise and other physical activities produce endorphins and also improve the ability to sleep which in turn reduces stress. 

So, try out a couple of fun physical activities, it may just help you out.

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If you’re confused about whether or not you (or anyone you know) are actually suffering from any mental health issues, keep an eye out for some of these signs:

  • Neglect of personal hygiene
  • Dramatic changes in sleep habits
  • Significant weight gain or loss
  • Decline in work performance
  • Pronounced changes in mood
  • Withdrawal from routine activities and/or relationships 
  • Expressing a lack of purpose

Remember that these are only some signs, a person may or may not have any or all of these signs, and my best suggestion would be that you consult a doctor or specialist.

EMBRACE YOURSELF AND BE UNAPOLOGETIC

Do you ever second guess yourself? Think you’re not ‘cool enough’ or ‘good enough’? Do you wish you were different? Do you ever feel like you should behave a certain way to get those around you to like you?

I’m here to tell you, STOP IT! Stop second guessing yourself, stop thinking you’re not good enough, stop thinking that you need to change yourself to get people to like you. Stop it.

Embrace yourself for who you are. You are you and you don’t need to change yourself for anyone or anything else.

Stop and evaluate

Before you compare yourself or try to change yourself or even judge yourself, stop and evaluate. Evaluate the situation, is it even worth it? Is your happiness and peace of mind really worth sacrificing? I don’t think so, your happiness and peace of mind should never be sacrificed for anything! Stop being afraid to be you, be your authentic real self.

Understand and love yourself

Understand that nothing in this world is perfect, so stop worrying about being perfect, making the perfect things or even looking perfect. Love who you are and never be sorry for it.

You’re not meant to be perfect, you’re meant to be you, you’re meant to grow. Learn from experiences, never stop yourself from experiencing thing and gaining knowledge.

Accept yourself

The only thing you need to love yourself is acceptance, accept who you are as a person. Acknowledge that this is where you are in life, you’re made up of certain good and certain not so good things and its okay. You should bring positive changes in yourself (only if you want to) but love yourself regardless of these changes. Love yourself because you want to, not to prove a point.

Know your role

Understand your role in your life, know that you are the most important person in your life. Know that you don’t owe an apology to anyone for being your true self. You’re in control of your life so don’t hesitate or apologize to ask what you deserve. Know that you’re never alone, you just need to surround yourself with better people.

Pursue what you love

You only have a certain amount of time and energy in a day. The amount of things and people in your life keep on increasing. Recognize who are the people that are important and what are the things the things that are important to you and spend your time and energy on these. This helps you create a lifestyle that you love because you’re investing in things and people that matter and that bring you happiness.

That’s all for this time. Tell me in the comments, what are the things that you love about yourself?

HOW TO BE MENTALLY STRONG AND PROTECT YOUR PEACE

Have you ever been in a situation where your mental peace has been disturbed? Have you ever had questions like – how can I protect my mental health? How can I be peaceful?

I’ve read and heard different people’s ideas and opinions and finally I’ve come up with these following ways which, if you practice, then you too can attain some amount of mental peace. It may not be the solution to all your problems but, it might help you deal with everyday issues ad stresses.

  • GROW AND LEARN FROM THE MISTAKES

A very important thing which you need to understand is, whatever has happened, cannot be changed. So, instead of overthinking and overanalyzing things that went wrong in the past, figure out what went wrong and how can you prevent the mistakes from happening again.

  • LOVE YOURSELF

This is connected to the first point. Learn to love yourself. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Another thing you should always keep in mind is: being kind to yourself, loving yourself and taking time to take care of yourself is not being selfish, it’s called self-care which everyone needs to practice.

“It’s absolutely okay to take time for self-care. You can’t do things well if you don’t feel well.”

  • CREATE HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Creating healthy boundaries for the people in your life is extremely important for your mental peace. Being there for people is good, but make sure you don’t burn yourself out in the process. By creating healthy boundaries you are taking care of your mental health. Remember, you can’t do good to others if you don’t feel good yourself.

  • TAKE CONTROL

A very important thing to always keep in mind is: you are always responsible for your happiness.

“Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” – Abraham Lincoln

Do not give anyone or anything else the control over your mental peace. Take back the control, keep yourself peaceful and happy.

  • BE GRATEFUL

This phrase should explain it by itself. Be grateful for everything good in your life.

To know more about being grateful, check out my blog:

GRATITUDE – BEING THANKFUL

That’s it for today. Tell me, what are the things that you do to protect your mental peace?