Tag Archives: communication

THE ART OF LISTENING

Listening is perhaps the most important and the most difficult part of having a healthy conversation. The main reason why most people struggle with being good listeners is because of their ego and impatience.

Let’s take a deeper look at listening and (almost) everything about it!

What is listening?

Listening does not mean hearing just to respond. It is hearing to understand.
Listening is not to judge/analyse what the other person is saying, it means to fully concentrate on what is being said. It is about using empathy and compassion and understanding the complete message, including the underlying emotional message conveyed.


Active listening is a technique to develop our ability to listen and make an effort to truly understand what the other person is trying to say.
It doesn’t need to be about agreeing with everything that is being said, it’s about respecting the other person and their opinion and avoiding judgmental tones or words.
It is about listening to what the other person is saying without having judgment or assumptions.

Why is listening important?

Being a good listener makes you an even better communicator. Your conversations and/or feedback really depends upon your listening skills, if you’re not a good listener, your response can be faulty.

Listening is not only a learning opportunity for you, but it is also one of the fastest and easiest way of making friends and building your network.
As human beings we are social creatures and by actively listening to people around us, we are able to connect, co-operate, develop and understand ourselves and each other.

Listening is a critical skill to have in a workspace. It helps you learn about the people that you work with and allows you to have a crystal clear understanding of the conversations which will help you make better decisions and solve problems.

Good listening skills will help you understand other people’s perspective better and understand any underlying feelings that they are unable to express. Also, by being an empathetic listener, you create a space for taking your own feelings and thoughts into account and taking a much closer look at them.

Finally, listening is the first base for growth, it helps you make good decisions and at the same time it slows you down to take a careful look at a situation before taking any decision or giving an opinion.

How to be a good listener?

Listen for curiosity and not for the sake of listening just to reply. Real effective communication cannot happen if we pretend to listen and it will certainly not happen if we don’t listen at all.

When listening to someone, try to have your full focus on them and their story rather than getting distracted or reflecting on your past experience or thinking of an answer or comeback.

Try to listen with an open mind and give the other person space and time to effectively communicate and express themselves and give their opinion.
It’s always easier to come to a compromise or find the best solution when everyone has the opportunity to explain their experience and understand the other person’s position.

Ask questions and take into consideration the whole situation before coming to a solid conclusion. Try to take a step back and analyse the whole situation from the other person’s point of view before giving any answer or advice.

To make someone feel heard, maintain eye contact (but try not to be creepy!) and give subtle indications like nodding. You can also ask questions and/or simply paraphrase what they said (or you could combine it and do both! For example – “so you’re saying… because…and …?”). This will make them feel heard and understood and make you feel engaging as well.

What am I doing wrong?/ Things not to do

Poor listening skills create walls in Communication and make things difficult and build more chance for mishappenings and accidents, especially due to miscommunication or incorrect assumptions/conclusions.

The first and most important thing to keep in mind while listening is : listen to understand, not to reply.

So the next time you listen to someone, listen to actually understand what they’re saying.
Don’t try to finish their sentences or interrupt them, allow them to finish, that way you can have a proper idea of their point of view and come to a better conclusion.

Secondly, try to avoid any and all narcissism. Try not to make it all about you or think about your own past experiences while the person is talking.
Although it is good to give advice from past experiences and mistakes, not paying full attention to the speaker might make them feel that you’re not interested and you might miss out on any key points.

And finally, do not think about your reply or get distracted by anything else, try to keep your full attention on the speaker and their story.

TOP TIPS TO COMMUNICATE

If you’re an introvert, trust me, this blog is definitely going to help you express yourself and build your confidence. On the other hand, if you are an extrovert then you too can be benefitted by this blog, it will help you deliver your message across more openly and clearly. 😉

So, let’s begin!



WHY IS CLEAR COMMUNICATION IMPORTANT?

Effective communication is really important for an organized life and it is far too important to ignore or leave to fate.

When you strengthen your communication skills you eliminate unnecessary rework and wasted time from misunderstandings.

Poor communication or bad communication skills will just make life harder for you. It will be the root cause for various misunderstandings, conflicts and confusions which can go on to affect your productivity as well as relationships.

It is better to be a frequent and open communicator who can easily talk about things and problems rather than being an under communicator.

During difficult times under communication can cause troublesome situations.



QUICK TIPS (GENERAL)

When communicating, especially about important things, stick to the topic and try not to add too much unnecessary information since it might confuse the recipient.

Know the objective of the conversation and be clear about the message.

Don’t rush into conversations, take a few minutes to collect your thoughts and calm your mind and deliver the message in a straightforward way.

Keep in mind the type of people you are communicating with and frame your message according to it.

Make sure that the recipient has understood the message clearly. You can check this by asking them to repeat the same information to you. It will help avoid any and all confusion.



MOST COMMON MISTAKES

Communicating with everyone the same way. (Realise that different audiences require different communication styles.)

Less questions, more assumptions.

Less listening, more talking.

Small minded thoughts. (Try to keep an open mind for everyone’s opinions and views.)

Negative approach towards the conversation. (Using negative tones and words creates an emotional distance between you and the recipient.)



QUICK TIPS (FOR INTROVERTS)

Challenge yourself and move out of your comfort zone.

Be the first to start a new conversation. Many people around you may feel the same way. So forget about your worries and reach out to new people.

Take a minute to think about the things you want to talk about. Have questions ready that will help you begin new conversations.
Pro tip – Try thinking of topics which you’re comfortable with or maybe a deep and meaningful topic, that way you can have a long conversation without any awkward small talk in between.

Once you start a new conversation, try to ask as many questions as possible and practice listening.

Try to relax and enjoy the conversation and don’t stress out too much.

Problems tend to build up more when we keep them bottled up inside us. If you’re having a problem with the people around you, try to communicate about it openly and find a solution to it or come to an agreement that works for everyone involved.



QUICK TIPS (FOR EXTROVERTS)

Ask questions and get feedback from people around you.

If you make mistakes, communicate with the people around you and try to understand where you went wrong.

Whenever a bad situation comes up, try not to point the blame at the other person/people.

Instead of using phrases like “You didn’t…” or “Because of you…” and “If you didn’t/hadn’t…” try using phrases like “It hurts me when…” or “I couldn’t…” or “It is an inconvenience for me when…”. The other person will be less defensive and will be able to understand the issue from your point of view.

During problematic situations, once you explain your point of view, take time to hear out the other person and try to understand the situation from their point of view as well.



IMPORTANCE OF LISTENING

Listening is the other half of communication and is overlooked most of the time.

The true benefit of listening is not for the speaker but for the listener.

Being able to listen and understand to other people and their ideas and implementing those to our own is a very great trait to have.

Make effort to be a good listener. When you can listen to someone and understand them properly, you will be able to explain yourself better as well.



BEST OF THE BEST (FOR TOP COMMUNICATORS)

Make the effort to try and inspire others through your communication.

Try to spread important messages through your words and make a difference to the world around you.

Make conversations less about you and more about the people around you and the things that matter to you.

Instead of communicating about things that are negative and hateful, try communicating about kindness, truth, humanity or anything and everything else that you are passionate about.

Try to spread positivity through your words and through your influence.




That’s it for today. I hope you enjoyed it. Tell me, which of these tips will you start using from today??