Category Archives: just from my heart

Writing as Work and Hobby

Daily writing prompt
What do you enjoy most about writing?
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How did I get into writing? I’m sure that every great (and even the not so great writer) started as a complete bookworm. As did I. The first ever novel that I read was The Famous Five by Enid Blyton, of course before that I had been held captive by countless other comic books and children’s magazines. But I distinctly remember the exact day that I finished reading The Five go to Finniston Farm, I put down the book and opened up my little diary and attempted to write a story just like the one I had read. Two chapters later the diary lay in the corner and the papers were shredded to bits. I hit writers block a little too early. I cant remember the exact day I actually started writing, but I have some pretty old memories of coming up with stories of talking dogs and girls with long brown hair connecting with their roots and finding out they had superpowers!

According to my mom I used to make up all these stories even before that, when I was just a baby I used to make all kinds of stories and characters to keep myself entertained (and also anybody else who wanted to listen).

Following that came the tween phase where I attempted my hand at journaling and making diary entries (completely inspired by Anne Frank) , but since consistency wasn’t my strongest traits, they all ended up in the trash eventually. It was also during this period of my life that I discovered the word of E-books and that just led me into a whole new world.

I will admit, I found a little too much comfort in the world of fiction, and yes, it was a pretty huge distraction from my studies and my parents were not as happy as I was. Despite the fact, I went through book after book, finding new genres every week and falling in love with the styles of so many authors.

My early teens were pretty much filled with Blake Pierce and W L Knightly (still would binge read all their books). Following that came the second attempt at writing a novel. And as much as I cringe thinking of that “horror” novel, to that version of me it was a masterpiece.

That began my pursuit of creating the best works that I could. I spent as much time as I could (keep in mind that in a brown household studies take first priority) devoted to thinking and re-thinking plots and characters visualizing different narratives, subconsciously dealing with some of my own personal life problems through these characters lives.

And that phase of my life led me to start this blog and post some of my own works (PS – I also have a second blog where I post my own short stories and novels) .

After a pretty long run of consistency and regular uploads I hit dead end. I had nothing good to put out into the creative spaces of the internet and even the smallest of works ended up in a pile of trash under my desk until I gave up all hope. I’m not proud of admitting this but I almost gave up all hopes of ever becoming anything more than a regular teenager with a couple blogs on the vast internet. Obviously a part of me hated that but it was just so easy, I had school and college and a whole bunch of extracurriculars that required my attention more than some stupid hobby.

A part of me hated to believe that the one thing I enjoyed so much was just going to be left in the past. But what was I to do? Writing was too difficult, much less writing everyday and as a profession, it just wasn’t for me. I wanted myself to believe that not every hobby is meant to turn into a money making machine. And for a while I believed that, I let go of the idea that I would ever become a writer and just tried to move on with my life.

Every once in a while I did try to come up with something even moderately close to amazing, but the lack of consistency translated into the algorithm not really pushing any of my works, and that translated into me being more and more disheartened and push aside the pen.

But the past few months have been a time of new growth and new experiences for me. I recently moved to a new state and officially decided to drop a year before college. Now, although these are not too major changes for my life (I’ve spent my whole life travelling around), I realized with all these new changes in life there is one more thing that I need to change- my mindset. I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking and re-thinking my life and career, and my choices right now.

I realised that I’m very young, (no seriously, I’m just 18) I’m still living with my parents and I’m not even in college. I have practically my whole life infront of me and its way too early to make a solid decision like pursuing writing as a complete career, let alone making this blog into a full time thing.

While there is nothing wrong with choosing a career and working towards it from an early stage, it is also wrong to lead every young adult into believing that they need to have their whole life figured out and be set into it from the time they turn into an adult.

I let myself believe that my worth was set on how well I could work rather than the worth of my work. I’ve been trying to grow and in that process also realise that growth takes a lot of time and trial and error. There is nothing wrong with me trying to take my time and give myself room to learn and breath and take everything in, and most of all enjoy the process. I forgot that writing started out as a hobby, something that I was supposed to enjoy, that brought me peace, instead it had turned into another task throughout the day that I had started to despise and roll my eyes at.

But that changes now. I’m reaching a new phase of my life, where I learn and grow as a person, and that will reflect in what I write, it might not be consistent and it might not please the algorithm gods, but that is what true growth is. Its not to appease the masses, but to please oneself. And that begins now.

Love, Anu.

Will AI really take over?

Daily writing prompt
What are you curious about?
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Being an author who is dependent on many algorithms to push my work everyday and with AI becoming a major part of today’s time, I wonder if AI will actually take over some of these creative spaces? It’s clear that at the end of the day technological tools like these are making life easier for people and are here to stay. So I ask the question – would people still be interested in reading stories or creatives written by actual people, or will our curiosity of the Artificial intelligence world take over us and the only thing people would want to consume would be AI made?

A Place Like No Other

When you’re a regular student, living life just one day at a time, you don’t really understand what it means when people older than you tell you things like “Good friendships are really important”.
My young heart didn’t understand what these little people meant to me until that day – my last day at school. 3rd May 2019, the day that changed my life in ways I never thought of before.

The best part? It never hit me that it was my last day until the very last moment.
We spent the whole day not realising it would be the last time we would be together. And then the last bell of the day rang and we all walked down the stairs as always, teasing and pushing one another, not once thinking that it would be the last time we would share those laughs and jokes.


I walked those last few steps with my best friend, deep in discussion, not realising his eyes were glued to those steps, refusing to look at me, holding back tears. I stood in the middle of the ground, chit chatting with my friends, just like always, or so I thought. That was until one of my friends finally lost it and broke down. Followed by my bestest friend – no – my sister, clinging to me and crying her heart out.
I looked around and saw all my closest friends – all of them, but not the way I remembered them. Not one teasing remark or witty comeback, no goofy faces or ugly laughs. They all stood around me, tears flowing down their cheeks, red eyes and somber expressions.

When I finally managed to calm them down and send them off to their buses and walked towards my own bus – I saw my other group of best friends, my brothers, my partners in crime, standing by the school canteen, trying desperately to conceal the tears they were crying (but obviously not doing a good job at hiding it).
I looked at them all , saw their tears, their heartbroken looks, their heavy voices and pained expressions as we said bye with our cool handshakes one last time. I saw all of it, but felt nothing. Not a single tear fell from my eyes, I was numb.

But it all came rushing at me.

A few days later as I sat at the airport with my family, waiting for the boarding announcements – it hit me. It hit me and I cried, and hyperventilated. Tears streaming down my face, each memory – big and small hitting me like a brick.

All the times I walked down those steps, all the times I stood there at that ground talking and playing with my friends, all the times I bullied my brothers and bestfriends for treats from the school canteen always promising to pay back but never actually paying them back, all the times we fought in those classrooms and all the furniture we broke and pretended that it was never us and acting innocent infront of teachers, all the water wars that got out of hand, all the concerts we had in those classrooms – singing lyrics we didn’t even understand at the top of our lungs in our worst voices. It hit me that I would never have any of that,ever.

It hit me that I was saying goodbye to some of the most important people of my life. People that taught me the importance of surrounding myself with good people and good energy. People that taught me to laugh and live, to fall and get up, to cry and then laught it off. People that held my hand in happy times and hugged me tight during my first encounter with tough times. People who saw me grow up, and people that I grew up with. People that shaped me into the person I am today, people that are the root of all the good I’ve done and all that I will do. People that put their foot down on all my foolishness and forgave me time and time again, teaching me some of the most beautiful and important lessons of my life. People that stood by me then and still stand by me, present forever in my heart. These little people, unaware of life,just like little me, yet so wise. People that I would live and die for.

It hit me that that was my very last moment in a very special place – a place that I called my home. A place where I had people that loved me and I loved more than myself. A place where I lived some of the best years of my life. A place where I grew up from a wild, curious young girl to a much clear headed, wiser young adult. A place that shaped me in ways I didn’t realise until now. A place like no other.

To all my friends, I love you all and you will forever be the most special people in my life. Until we meet again,
Love, Anu.

Learning From The Past

Some people look back at thier past, to find happy memories, some find sad, hurtful memories, but the thing that will be common for everyone looking back at their past is that you can (and should) learn from the past.

The experiences, the people and the situations you were in – they all have a much bigger purpose in your life. They are there to help you learn and help you grow, for you to grow into the best version of yourself.

The past holds high notes of wisdom, notes that can change your present if you gain inspiration from it.

It’s fair to say that we’ve all had good and bad times in our past, times when we were happy, and times when we weren’t.

Always remember that life is like an everflowing river, constantly swirling and making new paths, sometimes carrying on with the old paths and sometimes making new ones.
No matter good or bad, your past can only control your present and future to an extent.

There is a fine balance between honouring the past and losing yourself in it.

Eckhart Tolle



We all have, at some point, made mistakes in our past, but replaying all the regrets from the past is not going to make any difference to the present.

The way to get over the regrets from these mistakes is to actually learn the proper lesson from it. When we learn from it, it is no longer a negative element in your life, rather, it becomes the positive aspect of our past.

Remember the lessons the past has taught you, but don’t let the fear from the past experiences affect the choices you make in the present.

We need to be able to learn from the past, but at the same time, it’s important to update those lessons based on the current situation and the person that you’ve changed into.

It's good to learn about the mistakes from the past and use them to make better decisions for the future but it's important to know that at the end, your mistakes only guide you, they do not reflect who you are.


We can’t change what’s already happened, so instead of thinking of those times, it’s important to grow into a better version for the present and the future.
Try to see the past as training for a better future and use the lessons to grow.

The way to actually grow from the past is to firstly have the self-realization and courage to accept the mistakes you made and acknowledge it’s consequences.
It’s important to have the courage to make changes to your actions to make changes for the future results.

Have the courage to recognise the behaviours from the past that are negatively affecting your present. Analyse those behavioural patterns and their affect on you.

Then, take responsibility for your actions and the mistakes. When you take the responsibility,it becomes easier to actually accept it and move on and also stops you from always bringing up the past and blaming others for the mistakes and problems you faced in the past.

Bringing up the past and blaming others for the bad in it is never going to lead to anything positive and will hinder your relationship.
We bring up the past and try to connect it with the present when we feel like we’re not in control of the situation, what we need to understand is that it does not help the situation at hand and instead pulls the focus away from the main issue.

Instead of holding grudges with people connected to a sad past, try reasoning with them and having conversations. Resentment only takes away power and energy from you, forgiveness sets you free.

Fear not for the future, weep not for the past.

Percy Bysshe Shelley



Once you understand and accept the past and every thing in it – good and bad, it becomes easy to learn from it and steer into a better future.

Teach yourself better ways to deal with situations and people. Teach yourself to actually be present at the moment and most importantly, teach yourself to be responsible for your actions and think about the consequences it can have in your future.

The best thing about looking at the past is all the good memories. Whenever you feel low or unmotivated and need something to cheer you up its a good exercise to look back at the times when you were in a better state of mind and felt powerful.
Think of the times when things went your way and you were productive and made positive changes to your life.

Try to remember things to the last detail and then use the same energy that you felt then. Manifest that power back into your life and harness that energy to drive away the negative energy surrounding you (sort of like the Patronus charm – Expecto Patronum ! )

BEING ALONE

What does being alone mean to you?

As an introvert – I prefer being alone. Being alone with myself, my thoughts and a book is all I need to be happy.

But I remember a time when I was younger and I absolutely hated being alone. I loved to surround myself with people, to talk endlessly, to pick their brains on everything around me and to just have that presence of people around me made me happy.

But as I grew up I learnt to love my own company more. There were many other things, like, I learnt that my opinion is not always welcome, especially in a discussion in which only the “elders” opinion mattered, I learnt that being too open is not always a good thing and being too nosey is not always appreciated and that sometimes, I just needed to shut up.

Maybe it was the many ‘ticking offs’ that I got, or maybe it was just self realisation, but something made me become less and less of an extrovert.

I became less interested in going out and meeting new people and making new friends, less interested in going out of my way to interact with people outside of my close circle of friends and even less interested in talking about myself.

I became an introvert,and now as a highschool teenager – I just see myself going more and more into preferring my own company over everyone else.

The only time that I ever feel comfortable talking – about myself or about other things – is through my words, more specifically, the words that I write.
Maybe that is the reason why I’m interested in reading other people’s words and their experiences of life, through those words that they’ve written.

But, we as humans, are social creatures. We need social interaction – even if we think we don’t need it, we all do.

I’ve realised that social interaction isn’t merely limited to talking to someone – either face to face or on the phone – it’s more than that.
Texting, talking, reading, writing – it’s all social interaction! Anything that connects you to people around you is social interaction.
Heck, social media has just made social interaction so much more easier. You don’t even need to post anything, just watching and observing someone on social media is interaction!
But I guess even that has its limits.

After a point there’s going to be a voice inside you – a crazy human part of you that’s going to crave real human conversations- silly, useless, unnecessary, simple conversations, even small talk would seem like a lifesaver. Something which we all went through during the harsh times of the pandemic.
But on the flip side, some people (like me) craved some solitude. To be alone, not being bothered by people, not being constantly around people is all that some people wanted.

Being alone also has its downsides. If you’re alone for too long, it starts messing with your thoughts – especially if you’re going through tough times.
It forces you to overthink small and unnecessary things and brings a lot of stress.
Also, being alone brings out many unhealthy habits.

So its not all that good to be alone.

But what if you’re like me and do not like even the idea of socialising with people? (Especially a face to face real conversation)

Well, here are some things that I’ve realised (by being alone a lot and trying to socialize a lot)
It’s not easy to strike up a conversation with people, but if you can, find a common topic that interests everyone included in the conversation. You can have some good healthy conversations without feeling too overwhelmed.
Another tip if you’re like me and feel that a one-on-one conversation is too direct for you, try having a conversation with a group of people, that way you won’t have to lead the conversation or be the centre of it, it will just flow by itself.

Find the best way of social interaction for yourself. Whether it’s by reading or writing or simply observing people around you on social media – and get comfortable with sharing the things that interest you.
Soon you’ll be able to interact with people and have amazing fruitful conversations on things that you love.

At the end of the day I still prefer being alone with myself. Not being bothered by anyone and having the music on blast is when I’m the most productive and find myself the happiest. Sure, there are times when I would like to spend time with my closest friends and just have fun with them.
But on some days, after a long conversation, I feel exhausted and just crave to spend some time alone and just do nothing.
Not that my friends are overwhelming or the conversations with them are exhausting – no! They’re amazing and I’m forever grateful to all the awesome friends I have – but a part of me gets exhausted by putting in that effort.

See, it’s easier for me to enter an existing conversation and let it flow than to start up a whole conversation and get it running. Some of you might relate to this.

So starting a conversation, even if it is with my closest friends is tiring and as someone who finds social situations even more tiring, sometimes it gets scary – the idea of going up to people and starting intelligent conversations stirs a weird anxiety inside.

Does anyone else feel that way?

Obviously it’s not a healthy habit and with time will just get worse and affect your everyday life.

Each day I try to open myself up more and spend more time with the people around me. Some people are easy to open up to and have an enjoyable conversation with, some people- not so much.
I have days when just the thought of conversing with my own family gives me a headache, but I also have days when I’m searching for people to talk to and bond with.

And for everyone that’s going through a difficult time – sometimes things go like that, topsy-turvy, filled with highs and lows, a crazy rollercoaster ride. You just need to push through, one day at a time, with the only person to please being yourself.


Before I go, I ask you again – what does being alone mean to you?
Is it that one thing you crave for? Or is it that one thing you absolutely hate? Or is it something you have mixed feelings for?
Tell me, I’d love to know!

THE IDEA OF PERFECTION

What, according to you, is perfect?
Is it that character you saw in a movie or that lead in your favourite book? Is it that one person in your class/at work whom everyone looks up to.

The idea of perfection varies from person to person and time to time. It’s a lot like coffee.


Different people have different preferences when it comes to coffee and some don’t like coffee, it just goes with what you’re in the mood for.
Perfection is just like that, everyone’s idea of ‘perfect’ is different, and it changes from place to place and time to time.


When you’re in school it might be that person who has the most friends and hangs out with the popular crowd, when you grow older it might become the people that have a well paying job and are respected in the community.



The thing to note is that ‘perfect’ is not the same for everyone, all of us feel that perfect is different, better and something unlike us.
Everyone has, atleast once in their life, compared themselves to their idea of ‘perfect’.



But the question that arises is, “Why are some things considered to be perfect, while others are not?”

The idea of perfection is very different for different people but the reality of the situation is – nothing and no one is perfect!



We all have this idea of perfect in our head that we have put up on a pedestal and look up to and aspire to be and many times force ourselves to be.
We do the most absurd things to fit the idea of ‘perfect’. We put ourselves on diets and trainings and all sorts of things that we might not even want to do but we do it, just to fit this idea of perfect, which we’ve made up in our head!



Hear me out, there is nothing wrong with following a healthy lifestyle and doing things that keep you healthy and fit, but putting yourself through things that you don’t even want to do or are unhealthy for you, just to fit this image of ‘perfect body’ is wrong.
The same way, there’s nothing wrong with having a good job that pays well and gives you a high position in society, but doing that while pushing away your passion and happiness, just to match your parents idea of ‘the perfect child’ or society’s idea of ‘the perfect match’ is wrong.

There are so many other instances when we push away our own happiness and peace of mind just to fit the idea of perfect, something that will never be able to bring us true happiness.



Have you ever admired someone? Thought them to be the living version of perfect? Idolised them to such a level that you dreamt and aspired to be them?
Well, I have, and I had to learn it the hard way thay nothing and no one is perfect. Everyone has their good and bad side, everyone has their own shortcomings and everyone has days that are good and that are bad.
Putting someone on that pedestal and expecting them to fit your idea of perfect is not right. Accepting someone for who they are, good and bad, is the way to show true admiration and letting someone know that you actually care about them.



There’s nothing wrong with helping someone become better and improve but it’s always important to know our limits and not push ourselves and at the same time remind others to be careful and not push themselves too hard.


I don’t know about you, but I grew up watching people that had the perfect hair, the perfect body, the perfect laugh, everything that fit society’s idea of ‘perfect’ and that shaped my idea of perfect, which made me push myself in that direction, in a direction that seemed so wonderful, but was so dark and did not give me any happiness.

In the end, I don’t fit the idea of perfect! I don’t have the perfect smile, the perfect grades or the perfect behaviour. I’m not that and the first time I accepted that, it scared me, I was not what everyone wanted me to be and I might never become that, but now I’ve learnt to accept myself as that, as that imperfect, silly little girl, that might never make anyone proud, but atleast I’m happy.

I’m happy and I’m comfortable in my own skin… actually that’s not true, I’m not completely comfortable, I have days when I’m so bold and comfortable and feel so grand , and then I have days when I’m insecure, self conscious and scared and that is completely okay!
It’s a long hard journey and I’m going to make it, one day at a time. Baby steps.


And I want to encourage everyone reading this, take a moment and analyse yourself, what about you do you think is imperfect or doesn’t fit your version of ‘perfect’? What do you think is perfect? More importantly, why do you think it’s perfect? Why not put yourself into the idea of imperfect and love that?
There is so much beauty in imperfections – in all our imperfections, it’s high time that we stop praising the idea of perfect and learn to love ourselves a little more each day and grow each day.



Let’s learn to surround ourselves with people and things that help us develop self love, that help us love us for who we are and help us become better and happier.

There could be a hundred things that could make us upset, make us feel bad, about ourselves and the world around us, so it’s important to find love in ourselves, only then can we find love for the world outside.
And one of the best ways to love ourselves is to rid ourselves from the idea of perfect, to fall in love with our own imperfections.



It’s great if you can make yourself a better version of you and it’s great to try to be a better version of yourself every day, but it’s important to love yourself, regardless of who you could be, it’s about loving yourself as who you are, because there is so much to love about yourself…

To love yourself is the path to loving the world & to love the world is to spread love, peace and happiness

POWER OF MUSIC

Ever since I was a child, I’ve been obsessed with music and musicians.Not as in singing, but in hearing.

I remember the cold mornings when I had to wake up to go to school, temples and mosques nearby would be playing holy, soulful music. At the bus stop a small speaker would be playing the most random songs, sometimes just melodies mixed together. In the bus the driver would have the music on blast, whether to cheer himself or the kids I’ll never know!

Since those days I’ve loved music (and my love grew since my brother loved to sing and had a great voice).

Anytime a great song is played everyone around you jams to it, you can see that look in their face, people are carefree, ignorant to their problems and troubles around them, music lets them be happy. But the moment the music changes to something less popular or something that doesn’t fit the vibe of the occasion, you can see the change that people have.
Most people show it visually and audibly, the room will most probably be filled with “oh!” and “come on!”. You can see the change in their facial expressions, they’re visibly disappointed, because thier connection to the music is broken.

I believe that everyone has a connection to music, ofcourse not everyone connects to music in the same way and not everyone connects to all music.It changes from time to time and place to place.
But everyone connects, there is a part in all of us that connects with music, whatever music it may be.

Sure, some of us connect more to music and some less. To some, just hearing the first few notes of the song can get them singing and dancing and to some it remains limited to just listening to the song and enjoying it.

After long nights of music and deep thoughts, I’ve realised this : music has a way of uniting and dividing.

“Music is the greatest communication in the world. Even if people don’t understand the language that you’re singing in, they still know good music when they hear it. “

Lou Rawls

When the music is good, something which most people vibe to, it becomes the uniting factor and the same way when it’s something that most of the people don’t like, it makes everyone disappointed, together.
But when the music changes to something one group likes and the other group dislikes, it becomes the dividing factor.
Even amongst friends, “what music should we play at …” is a really big discussion and might even lead to disagreements.

But let’s look at the positive side of things.
For me, music is a stress buster, my way to relax and unwind after a really tough day. Music holds the power to take my thoughts away from the difficulties of each day, from the tired reckless thoughts, to a world of fantasy and imagination, a world where I can live and laugh and explore the side of me that I hide from the rest of the world. I’m sure it’s the same for many people reading this.

For many people, it’s difficult to work with music, some say that it’s a distraction, but for me, whenever I’m unleashing my creative side, like right now, when I’m writing this, I love to have the music blasting through the earphones, cancelling out the noisy, chaotic world outside, leaving me with the humming of the music and peace inside.

As I’m growing older, my connection to different music is changing and evolving and I love to see that growth in myself, almost like looking at myself from the outside. I guess music gives you a better look at yourself, a little more soulful and a little more deep.

Another really important thing that I’ve noticed is that people who connect to the similar type of music tend to connect with each other well. Obviously it doesn’t mean that everyone that shares the same taste in music is going to connect well with you, but, music does make a common ground for you to connect with people which can be great for making new friends and meeting new people.

One of my most favourite things about music is the satisfaction that I get after jamming to some good music.
Music holds the power to elevate my mood and make me feel energetic and confident, as I’m sure it does to a lot of people .

So here’s a little tip for anyone that’s feeling low, listen to music. Any music. Specifically, any music that can get you jumping and make you happy, something that can really get the feel good chemicals pumping through you. Works every time!

Tell me below, what type of music do you connect to, also, suggest some to us!

“Music is the literature of the heart, it commences where speech ends.”

Alphonse de Lamartine