BEING ALONE

What does being alone mean to you?

As an introvert – I prefer being alone. Being alone with myself, my thoughts and a book is all I need to be happy.

But I remember a time when I was younger and I absolutely hated being alone. I loved to surround myself with people, to talk endlessly, to pick their brains on everything around me and to just have that presence of people around me made me happy.

But as I grew up I learnt to love my own company more. There were many other things, like, I learnt that my opinion is not always welcome, especially in a discussion in which only the “elders” opinion mattered, I learnt that being too open is not always a good thing and being too nosey is not always appreciated and that sometimes, I just needed to shut up.

Maybe it was the many ‘ticking offs’ that I got, or maybe it was just self realisation, but something made me become less and less of an extrovert.

I became less interested in going out and meeting new people and making new friends, less interested in going out of my way to interact with people outside of my close circle of friends and even less interested in talking about myself.

I became an introvert,and now as a highschool teenager – I just see myself going more and more into preferring my own company over everyone else.

The only time that I ever feel comfortable talking – about myself or about other things – is through my words, more specifically, the words that I write.
Maybe that is the reason why I’m interested in reading other people’s words and their experiences of life, through those words that they’ve written.

But, we as humans, are social creatures. We need social interaction – even if we think we don’t need it, we all do.

I’ve realised that social interaction isn’t merely limited to talking to someone – either face to face or on the phone – it’s more than that.
Texting, talking, reading, writing – it’s all social interaction! Anything that connects you to people around you is social interaction.
Heck, social media has just made social interaction so much more easier. You don’t even need to post anything, just watching and observing someone on social media is interaction!
But I guess even that has its limits.

After a point there’s going to be a voice inside you – a crazy human part of you that’s going to crave real human conversations- silly, useless, unnecessary, simple conversations, even small talk would seem like a lifesaver. Something which we all went through during the harsh times of the pandemic.
But on the flip side, some people (like me) craved some solitude. To be alone, not being bothered by people, not being constantly around people is all that some people wanted.

Being alone also has its downsides. If you’re alone for too long, it starts messing with your thoughts – especially if you’re going through tough times.
It forces you to overthink small and unnecessary things and brings a lot of stress.
Also, being alone brings out many unhealthy habits.

So its not all that good to be alone.

But what if you’re like me and do not like even the idea of socialising with people? (Especially a face to face real conversation)

Well, here are some things that I’ve realised (by being alone a lot and trying to socialize a lot)
It’s not easy to strike up a conversation with people, but if you can, find a common topic that interests everyone included in the conversation. You can have some good healthy conversations without feeling too overwhelmed.
Another tip if you’re like me and feel that a one-on-one conversation is too direct for you, try having a conversation with a group of people, that way you won’t have to lead the conversation or be the centre of it, it will just flow by itself.

Find the best way of social interaction for yourself. Whether it’s by reading or writing or simply observing people around you on social media – and get comfortable with sharing the things that interest you.
Soon you’ll be able to interact with people and have amazing fruitful conversations on things that you love.

At the end of the day I still prefer being alone with myself. Not being bothered by anyone and having the music on blast is when I’m the most productive and find myself the happiest. Sure, there are times when I would like to spend time with my closest friends and just have fun with them.
But on some days, after a long conversation, I feel exhausted and just crave to spend some time alone and just do nothing.
Not that my friends are overwhelming or the conversations with them are exhausting – no! They’re amazing and I’m forever grateful to all the awesome friends I have – but a part of me gets exhausted by putting in that effort.

See, it’s easier for me to enter an existing conversation and let it flow than to start up a whole conversation and get it running. Some of you might relate to this.

So starting a conversation, even if it is with my closest friends is tiring and as someone who finds social situations even more tiring, sometimes it gets scary – the idea of going up to people and starting intelligent conversations stirs a weird anxiety inside.

Does anyone else feel that way?

Obviously it’s not a healthy habit and with time will just get worse and affect your everyday life.

Each day I try to open myself up more and spend more time with the people around me. Some people are easy to open up to and have an enjoyable conversation with, some people- not so much.
I have days when just the thought of conversing with my own family gives me a headache, but I also have days when I’m searching for people to talk to and bond with.

And for everyone that’s going through a difficult time – sometimes things go like that, topsy-turvy, filled with highs and lows, a crazy rollercoaster ride. You just need to push through, one day at a time, with the only person to please being yourself.


Before I go, I ask you again – what does being alone mean to you?
Is it that one thing you crave for? Or is it that one thing you absolutely hate? Or is it something you have mixed feelings for?
Tell me, I’d love to know!